she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize