Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
