just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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