In the future we'll all be gay
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
