I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
