after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
