I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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