So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize