Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
