Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
