Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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