Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize