I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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