Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
as a side note pls kill me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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