i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
