Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize