the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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