It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize