My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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