u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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