Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
