true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
