i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
