Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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