Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
