Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just cropdusted the office
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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