Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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