I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
