Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
