My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
