Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
