i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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