do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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