I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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