I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
