I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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