Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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