omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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