i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
