i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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