Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
