This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
