would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
