we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
