I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
