I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize