The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
