I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
