conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
