Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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