We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
