Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
