when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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