Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
