My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
