Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we're so committed to being not committed
as a side note pls kill me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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