were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
