It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
id be glad to
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
