Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize