rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize