ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
