the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
