Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
