You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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