Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize