Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
