Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
