do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
