just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We have started to decorate penises.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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